Dear Craig
Remember the days when drinking meant downing a chocolate milkshake bottle that mom bought for you, spilling it all over yourself and feeling sick afterwards? Well, the same thing probably still happens to you. In fact, it also happens to me here at university, except in a much different context with somewhat similar, yet hugely different results. You see, young Craig, drinking here is not merely a way to quench one's craving for a certain beverage that you simply enjoy the taste of. Nor is it a way to get a big fancy drink that looks cool and costs an unthinkable amount of money. Well, to some extent it is this way, except here at Rhodes it is a little bit, well a lot different. The way we drink here is vastly different to how you do when you get a sweet tooth or thirsty. I know you're not going to understand what I'm about to tell you, and the advice that I give me, but bear with me, because one day it will make perfect sense to you. I'm going to put it in the simplest way I can, so here it goes: On some nights usually Wednesdays, Fridays or Saturdays), students decide that they don't want to sit in their rooms and work but they would rather do something else. They usually go out to a club or pub, which are places where people dance and 'drink'. The stuff they drink, however is not what you'd expect, it is a foul tasting liquid called alcohol. It comes in different types, shapes, sizes and strengths. The reason I say strenghts is because this stuff does something to these students that you wouldn't be able to comprehend right now. It makes them act very different, like crazy people, doing stuff they never would do without this stuff. After acting like a fool for a couple of hours, they either pass out or vomit all over the place. So my advice to you is stay away from this dreadful stuff, or at least drink it in moderation, because you don't want to be the guy who takes off all his clothes and pole dances on a table to a Christina Aguileira song while screaming about how you want some 'booty' at the top of your lungs. But I'll talk to you about that at a later stage.
Yours Intoxicatedly
Craig Albers further down the line
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
A letter to my younger self
Dear 15-year-old me.
Remember that time in Grade 8 when you went to stay at your aunt’s house in Clifton with your family and you brought Tanya, Lynette and Nicole along? You met a tattoo artist on the beach one day and he invited you to that club Chilli n’ Lime and you and your friends where so angry when your parents said that you couldn’t go. Do you understand now why they said no? It was a ridiculous request and I can’t believe that you were even surprised at their refusal. At the time you wished that you were older, that you could drive and didn’t have to answer to your parents. You longed for the time when you would be able to do anything you pleased without any responsibility towards anyone. How I wish now that you appreciated your parents and knew that they only had your best interests at heart. I wish that you had appreciated a time when you didn’t have to take responsibility for yourself and your actions – the biggest responsibility of all. Being without parents close at hand to get you out of tricky situations or to lend a shoulder to weep on has made me realise how much I loved being under the protective wing of my parents, who would drop anything to help me if I needed it and who would bend over backwards to make sure that I was safe and happy. I miss being said “no” to. I miss not having to make decisions for myself and I’m tired of having to rely on my own moral judgement when making those decisions. You’re at a stage in your life when all you want to do is break free – but hold on. Enjoy the baths that mom runs for you when you’ve had a terrible day and appreciate the fact that your parents love you and only want to see you happy – appreciate it when mom says to you “just wait a few more years”.
Yours in confidence always
Me
Remember that time in Grade 8 when you went to stay at your aunt’s house in Clifton with your family and you brought Tanya, Lynette and Nicole along? You met a tattoo artist on the beach one day and he invited you to that club Chilli n’ Lime and you and your friends where so angry when your parents said that you couldn’t go. Do you understand now why they said no? It was a ridiculous request and I can’t believe that you were even surprised at their refusal. At the time you wished that you were older, that you could drive and didn’t have to answer to your parents. You longed for the time when you would be able to do anything you pleased without any responsibility towards anyone. How I wish now that you appreciated your parents and knew that they only had your best interests at heart. I wish that you had appreciated a time when you didn’t have to take responsibility for yourself and your actions – the biggest responsibility of all. Being without parents close at hand to get you out of tricky situations or to lend a shoulder to weep on has made me realise how much I loved being under the protective wing of my parents, who would drop anything to help me if I needed it and who would bend over backwards to make sure that I was safe and happy. I miss being said “no” to. I miss not having to make decisions for myself and I’m tired of having to rely on my own moral judgement when making those decisions. You’re at a stage in your life when all you want to do is break free – but hold on. Enjoy the baths that mom runs for you when you’ve had a terrible day and appreciate the fact that your parents love you and only want to see you happy – appreciate it when mom says to you “just wait a few more years”.
Yours in confidence always
Me
letter to my younger self
Dear Mandla
Let me start by congratulating you on winning the award for the obtaining the highest marks for one your of the subjects you do and to wish you the best of luck for the up coming final exams. I know that this is the most nerve wrecking time of the year, knowing your abilities I trust that you will do well without any shadow of a doubt. How are your friends especially Thami, I hope that you are not stealing peaches from Madlamini anymore, someday you’ll be caught so you need to be careful.
Varsity is still the same, except that this term has been very tough I haven’t been doing well I am not getting good marks at all, but don’t mention this to Ma, I don’t want her to worry. However, something totally unexpected happened to me something that I have never imagined could happen here. You know the Methodist society that I have been telling you about, where I go to church. There is this girl that I have been overlooking, not noticing at all not that she is unattractive or anything like that its just that she is one of those quite girls that are quite, that come in and go out without saying a thing to anyone. Ok let me break the story down for you. Last week the society went to a provincial conference, delegates were elected by the committee we were both to represent the society there. She was sitting behind on the bus from here to uMthatha. I couldn’t help myself I kept looking behind pretending that I was looking at cars that were behind. To cut the long story short I ended up starting a conversation with her, we got along more than fine although we disagreed on some debates we had on the bus as we were debating some stuff that were to come up in the conference. The conversation progressed to my desired culmination or rather our desired pinnacle. I can’t go to further details since you are still under age but you can use your imagination to draw your conclusions, man!!! this is the best feeling on campus.
I have to go back to my book, that’s after calling her of course. Keep on being the best brother.
Cheers, Mindlos
Xolani
Let me start by congratulating you on winning the award for the obtaining the highest marks for one your of the subjects you do and to wish you the best of luck for the up coming final exams. I know that this is the most nerve wrecking time of the year, knowing your abilities I trust that you will do well without any shadow of a doubt. How are your friends especially Thami, I hope that you are not stealing peaches from Madlamini anymore, someday you’ll be caught so you need to be careful.
Varsity is still the same, except that this term has been very tough I haven’t been doing well I am not getting good marks at all, but don’t mention this to Ma, I don’t want her to worry. However, something totally unexpected happened to me something that I have never imagined could happen here. You know the Methodist society that I have been telling you about, where I go to church. There is this girl that I have been overlooking, not noticing at all not that she is unattractive or anything like that its just that she is one of those quite girls that are quite, that come in and go out without saying a thing to anyone. Ok let me break the story down for you. Last week the society went to a provincial conference, delegates were elected by the committee we were both to represent the society there. She was sitting behind on the bus from here to uMthatha. I couldn’t help myself I kept looking behind pretending that I was looking at cars that were behind. To cut the long story short I ended up starting a conversation with her, we got along more than fine although we disagreed on some debates we had on the bus as we were debating some stuff that were to come up in the conference. The conversation progressed to my desired culmination or rather our desired pinnacle. I can’t go to further details since you are still under age but you can use your imagination to draw your conclusions, man!!! this is the best feeling on campus.
I have to go back to my book, that’s after calling her of course. Keep on being the best brother.
Cheers, Mindlos
Xolani
Letter to my younger self
Hey Lauren,
You're a blink away from leaving home. When you come to Rhodes, be prepared for a whole new world. Remember when Saturdays were devoted to movies, shopping and coffee with friends at the mall? Well, erase any thought of homework-free weekends and coffee-house high school gossip. Instead, the caffeine will be replaced by vodka. The high school trauma will be replaced by Rhodent spirit, exam dilemmas and res food.
Life is here is different and you are going to be pressured to fit in with the social norms that has paved Rhodes' very reputation. You might meet a handsome second year guy. He might look mature. He might smell mature. But he isn't. If he offers to buy you a drink – accept if thirsty, but watch him pour. He might, while you are innocently excusing yourself for the bathroom, slip something into your drink. It will taste the same, but after a few minutes you will lose all your know-how and control. He might take advantage of your naivety. You might find yourself being carried by him to his res. Or you might not even remember anything after the first gulp. This date-rape topic was washed down every first year in the beginning of my O-Week. We were advised to never trust a prince charming who doesn't want you to look at him ordering you a so-and-so shot. Boys, especially those driven by fresh first years with no sense of the Rhodes lifestyle, will remain boys and will want only one thing. Now, it might seem like I'm bringing the male race down, but I'm just protecting you. Be aware of all beer-givers. Make sure that there is a friend nearby who will rush you back to res or to the hospital as soon as your inhibitions go out The Rat's door. Whatever you do, be yourself. I know that you can rise above the dangers and find fun in your first year.
With an over-protected attitude on your future and a wish for all your new experiences.
You...a year later.
You're a blink away from leaving home. When you come to Rhodes, be prepared for a whole new world. Remember when Saturdays were devoted to movies, shopping and coffee with friends at the mall? Well, erase any thought of homework-free weekends and coffee-house high school gossip. Instead, the caffeine will be replaced by vodka. The high school trauma will be replaced by Rhodent spirit, exam dilemmas and res food.
Life is here is different and you are going to be pressured to fit in with the social norms that has paved Rhodes' very reputation. You might meet a handsome second year guy. He might look mature. He might smell mature. But he isn't. If he offers to buy you a drink – accept if thirsty, but watch him pour. He might, while you are innocently excusing yourself for the bathroom, slip something into your drink. It will taste the same, but after a few minutes you will lose all your know-how and control. He might take advantage of your naivety. You might find yourself being carried by him to his res. Or you might not even remember anything after the first gulp. This date-rape topic was washed down every first year in the beginning of my O-Week. We were advised to never trust a prince charming who doesn't want you to look at him ordering you a so-and-so shot. Boys, especially those driven by fresh first years with no sense of the Rhodes lifestyle, will remain boys and will want only one thing. Now, it might seem like I'm bringing the male race down, but I'm just protecting you. Be aware of all beer-givers. Make sure that there is a friend nearby who will rush you back to res or to the hospital as soon as your inhibitions go out The Rat's door. Whatever you do, be yourself. I know that you can rise above the dangers and find fun in your first year.
With an over-protected attitude on your future and a wish for all your new experiences.
You...a year later.
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